I'm writing this because I'm terribly hurting right now. My 20th birthday is coming and I realize how I lost, those people whom I considered important in my life.
I lost my grandmother. She was my biggest fan. She never forgets my birthday. Kapag birthday ko nga lagi niya kong bibigyan ng 100 pesos tapos ako na yung pinaka masayang bata. Siya yung laging nakakahuli sakeng umiiyak sa kwarto. Alam ko kahit di man madalas sabihin saken ni Nanay, mahal na mahal niya ko. Ito yung first birthday ko na wala si Nanay. I miss you so much, Nay. Nasan ka man, I know you're happy. I love you.
I lost a lover. He's the one who knows every bit of me. For more than two years, we've shared laughters and tears. We argue most of the times but at the end of the day, magbabati din kami kasi di ko matiis na magalit sa kanya. Maybe some things are not meant to last forever. I know he's happy now. Maybe he found a girl who's much better than me. I loved him so much before, so much that it still hurts right now. I never regret our relationship. Maybe di lang talaga kami ang para sa isa't isa. Mabasa mo man to or hindi, I'm thankful that once in my life, I had you.
I lost my bestfriend. Si twin yung araw araw na nangangamusta saken. Siya yung napagsasabihan ko ng kasiyahan, gripes, kalungkutan. Siya yung karamay ko sa iyakan. Siya yung nakakaintindi sa kabuangan ko. Siya lang yung hindi ako hinuhusgahan. Siya yung tumutulong saken sa kahit anong paraan na kaya niya. I love you, twin. Alam ko galit ka saken. Sorry. Namimiss na kita ng sobra. Kung may chance lang na maging magkaibigan ulit tayo.. :(
Lastly, I lost someone who had been there for me nung sobrang down ako. He had been a good friend but I know hanggang doon nalang yun. Thank you, for lending a shoulder for me o cry on. Sorry kasi I wasn't able to pay back your goodness. Sandali lang kita nakilala pero I know you have good heart. Nasan ka man ngayon, I hope you're safe.
Few days from now, I'm turning 20. I know I have to face YEARS to come without all of you. I promise, I'll be stronger, wiser and braver this year. I know magiging masaya din kayo kapag nakita niyo kong kaya ng tumayo sa sariling paa. THANK YOU, sa inyo. I'll keep our memories forever but I know it's time for me to MOVE ON.
Aja, Yume. Aja! :)
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1 comment:
Yume, when I was reading this. kinilabutan ako. parehong pareho tayo, for the grandma and love part. I lost them. And my ex have someone already, this last month lang (though it's been months since we broke up, hehe) anyway, aja! yume aja! life goes on and what dont kill us makes us stronger hehe tama ba un? ^_^
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